'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house, Everyone felt shitty, Even the mouse. Mom at the whore house, Dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice Piece of ass. I set myself down out on The lawn, and I heard a Big clatter, so I sprang From my piece to see What was the matter. From out on the lawn I saw a big dick, And I knew in a moment It must be St Nick! He came down the chimney Like a bat outta hell, And I knew in a moment that the fucker had fell. He filled our stockings With pretzels and beer, And a huge rubber dick For my brother the Queer. He rose up the chimney With a thunderous fart And the son of a bitch Blew the chimney apart And as he rode off out into the night, He said, "Piss on you all, And to all a bitch of a night!"



TOC Admin
Brando

Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.
Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor would loosen up their thinking.

In my own apartment, I had been pacing,
And dreaded exams I soon would be facing.
My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, and brewed a new pot,
No longer caring that my nerves were shot.

I stared at my notes, but my thoughts were muddy,
My eyes went a blur, I just couldn't study.
"Some pizza might help," I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.
I'd nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades had in school.

When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off ambled inside.
Her spirit was careless, her manner was mellow,
She wore a white toga, she started to bellow:
"What kind of student would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers what they tossed at us?"

"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! On last year's exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and last minute crams!"
Her message delivered, she vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing outside in the night.
"Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best.
Happy finals to all, and to all, a good test!"

LOL